Study Store now accepts payment in kidneys as legal tender

THE HAGUE – With surging book prices, student material retailer Study Store has opted for a new approach to give students the once in a lifetime chance to buy at least one book with one of their functioning kidneys.

Students have made various complaints about the next-to extortionate prices of books. Third year students in particular have complained about the ridiculous pricing of the ‘Drafting International Contracts: An Analysis of Contract Clauses’ book placed at 160 euros. Study Store’s response to the outrageous prices was simply “We understand the complaints about the pricing but also think students should consider our very generous 5% discount for Dutch titles and 10% for international. It’s basically charity”

In an effort to keep demand alive, study store Den Haag has come up with a new technique that enables any living human being to buy a book, by simply selling one of their healthy kidneys.

“To be honest ever since watching those Grey’s Anatomy and Scrubs reruns, Geert’s gotten pretty handy with a scalpel, we’ve got some alcohol in the back to numb the patients and I’m pretty sure with a few YouTube tutorials Geert could nail the procedure down” explained Hans Van der Molen the store manager, he was speaking off Geert Wilkens the custodian at the Study Store The Hague.

Eager students wishing to save a few hundred euros have begun calling upon family members to donate their kidneys for a good cause. We spoke to the father of Chilean student Catalina Rojaz, Enrique Rojas had this to say “Right now me and her mother have covered two books for quarter one, but once quarter two hits we’re gonna have to fly over Catalina’s abuela from Santiago, she’s about checked out anyway”

This new payment method hasn’t come without criticism however, in 2012 a student caught a Hepatitis C infection from an infected needle during a blood donation in exchange for a Legal Skills book he totally didn’t even have to read.